I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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