"it" just moved
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
