In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
