i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
