I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize