But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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