just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
