this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
