I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
