And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize