apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
