Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize