i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So squirting runs in the family.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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