This is not my ceiling
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
