I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Mom said you looked used
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
