I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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