the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
