I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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