His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
