You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
