operation harelip BJ is a go
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
