Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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