This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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