at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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