JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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