discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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