good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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