Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
