I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You smell like stripper and shame
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
