I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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