Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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