Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
