the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
