Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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