u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
it's like iHOP with fire
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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