don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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