I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We left an ass print on the piano.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
