i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
