But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
