But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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