I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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