I CAN MOONWALK!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
