three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
