But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
