My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
