she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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