so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
