You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
