Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
