Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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