Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
