a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
