it hurts more in the daytime
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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