Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles

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(905): View more from Toronto

Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?

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(812): View more from Indiana

apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"

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(519): View more from Ontario

I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.

(519): View more from Ontario

She did the bend and snap...

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(347): View more from New York

i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...

(404): View more from Georgia

sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."

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(817): View more from Texas

This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.

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(845): View more from New York

we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake

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