cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
