You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
