i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
