He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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