Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
