My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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