Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
